Secret Thoughts 3
by tfny2
Summary: Part three of the series. H/H. Harry opens up to Hermione. Will she return the feelings
1. Default Chapter Title

Secret Thoughts 3   
  
"David!" said Hermione faking her cheery voice. Harry was now standing up and walking over to the front door where Hermione stood, but he still wasn't able to see who was at the door. "What are you doing here?!" asked Hermione barely holding up her smile.   
"You forgot you purse in the car." Said a male voice. Harry was now right behind Hermione and next to her standing in the doorway was a guy with blond hair and brown eyes wearing regular muggle clothes holding up Hermione's purse. He looked about sixteen years of age.   
"Thanks." Said Hermione taking her purse from his hand. She just noticed that Harry was standing right behind her. She quickly turned to look at him than to the person at the door. Looking really nervous she finally introduced the two by saying "David, this is my friend Harry. Harry, this is my um...." She stopped and Harry was now afraid of what was going to come out of her mouth next. "...boyfriend, David." She said this quickly and turned to Harry whose continence was expressionless.   
"Nice meeting you." Said David holding out his hand for Harry to shake. Harry shook his hand and replied.  
"You too." There was a moment of silence until David said "Well I gotta run now. I'll see you later." He addressed Hermione. She nodded slightly, then David leaned in to her and gave her a small peck on the cheek and left. Hermione closed the door after him and made her way quietly towards the couch where Harry now sat, and as she approached him he said. "So.." he slowly began to look up at her "He's that 'someone else' then, right?"   
Hermione just nodded. Harry sighed and buried his face in his hands. "So where does that put us?" he asked.  
"I don't know Harry," she started "I'm just so confused.  
"Yeah well I guess I should have thought of that before I stuck my tongue down your throat." Hermione just shot him an angry face.  
"I didn't plan for this..."  
"Well neither did I, but since it happened we might as well try to figure out what to do."  
"What do you expect me to do?!"   
Harry stood and walked towards her "Choose." He said. "Who's more important to you him, or me."  
"I can't do that Harry."  
"And why not?! Why can't I be with you?! Why can't we be together?!"  
"Why?!"  
"Yes why?!"  
"Because I'm afraid of getting hurt by you?!" and with that she stormed out and locked herself in her room.  
Harry was staring at the ceiling in his room. Hermione has said something that made his heart freeze. Hermione said that he would hurt her. Why would she think that. He had a pretty good idea of how Hermione's past boyfriends have hurt her in great ways. He couldn't believe that she thought that he was like the rest of them.   
He got up and went over to her door. To his surprise it was slightly open. And he opened it slowly so that not to startle hermione who was sitting on her bed cross-legged staring into space. "Hermi..." he started. But she interrupted him.  
"Please don't say anything Harry." She stopped for a second. "I'm so sorry. I'm being so unfair to you." Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione interrupted his thoughts. "You had no idea that I had a boyfriend. I'm sorry."  
"Do you love him?" Harry asked.  
Hermione shook her head "No."  
Then Harry waited and asked "Do you love me?"  
Hermione was silent for a long time "I just don't think people our age are capable of that feeling."  
"I think you're wrong."   
"Harry I..."  
"I love you Hermione."  
"You don't mean it Harry."  
"Why else would I say it Herm."  
"Please don't Harry."  
"I'm sorry Hermi, but I can't hide my feeling from you. But I see you can."  
Harry left her room and stormed out of her apartment. And didn't return until dawn. Hermione was waiting for Harry to come back in his room. When he finally came back she asked him.  
"Where were you?" asked Hermione as calmly as she could  
"I went for a walk."  
"Must have been a long walk that you come back now."  
"Must have."  
"Harry look..."  
"What?"  
Hermione sighed and bit her lip. "You opened up to me and I'm very grateful for that. I'm sorry, but I can't return you the same feelings."  
"But I know you can. I can feel you can."  
Hermione just stood there looking at Harry with vulnerability as he continues.   
"Hermione please trust me. I will never ever hurt you." The distance between them was shortening "Please open your heart to me. I need you." He leaned in to kiss her. "I love you Hermi." As he said that they pulled into a warm passionate kiss. Their lips were pressed hard into each other then soon explored each other's mouths. Harry pulled away for a brief second in between kisses. "Please Hermi, please say it. Please." He managed to exhale. Hermione slowly pulled away from Harry. She was sobbing. Harry saw this and hugged her. She was afraid to say it. She was afraid of what would happen if she did. She felt confused. She didn't know if she loved Harry. Her heart was saying yes, but her mind saying no. She couldn't handle this she started shaking her head "I can't." she left Harry's embrace and started to walk away from Harry but stopped in her tracks. She turned to face Harry, he was on the verge of tears. How could she do this to him she thought. He loves her he truly does. She quickly ran to him and pulled him into a hot kiss running re hand through his hair. She pulled back and rested her forehead on his. She looked at Harry, he had tears in his eyes. "Hermi, I--" but he was pulled into another kiss of passion. They fell to the bed. Hermione pulled away. She gazed deeply into Harry's longing eyes. She followed her heart "I love you too Harry." A smile fell across Harry's face but only until they began kissing vigorously. Harry pulled away from Hermione's lips and started placing soft wet kisses on her neck. A small moan escaped her lips. She ran one hand through his hair and the other up and down his back. She nibbled his ear. His hand was running up her thigh under her skirt. And the other was beginning to unbutton her blouse. He moved his lips lower to her breasts. Hermione slowly pulled away "stop," She barely managed to exhale. Harry pulled away from her. "Sorry...I can't" she continued.  
"Don't be," said Harry slowly retreating from her "we don't have to do anything you don't want to." He said pulling a lock of air away from Hermione's face.  
"It's just too fast."   
"Yeah we should go slower."  
"No," Hermione said. "we shouldn't" Harry was startled as Hermione straddled herself above him and began to take his shirt off. She was kissing his torso. Then she looked down at his belt buckle and began to undo it. Harry stopped her and she looked up at him. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.   
"Positive"  



	2. Default Chapter Title

A/N: Ok everyone finally I wrote the fourth part. YAY!! This is Secret Thoughts 4. It's a good thing for you to read the other three. I changed my name after part 1 and 2. The first two parts are under author-tfny- not tfny2.Please R/R

Rating: NC17 for sexual contents.

Secret Thoughts Part 4

Harry rolled Hermione to her side and slowly slid her skirt off; he ran his hand up her thigh. Hermione was taking Harry's pants off. He then helped her take her blouse off completely. Hermione undid her bra. Without breaking their kiss Harry moved his hand from her thigh to cut her breast as Hermione grabbed his ass. Harry then slowly slid Hermione's panties off.Harry placed his hand between her legs and moved it around till he found her clit, he slowly rubbed the area and could hear Hermione give out a little moan. Harry left how she was becoming wet. His boxers were now off and he rolled over so that Hermione was beneath him. He was inside her working his body is slow motions into her, he want deeper and made his motions faster. He made her moan with pleasure. He continued and he heard her breathlessly cry out "Harry".He then stopped as he came. They held each other in their arms for many minutes. "I love you" said Harry softly into her ear. Hermione just snuggled closer to him.

The next few days went by strangely. They didn't talk about this matter and changed subjests as soon as they were close to talking about it. Harry wanted to talk about it, he wanted to hear from her that what they did was not a mistake.

"Hermione?" he began.

"Hmm?" 

"Look, I don't know why, but to me it seems like you have been trying to avoid talking to me about what we did." He said.

"I'm not trying to avoid you Harry." She said plainly

"Then what are you doing." Said Harry coming closer to her. "Everytime I bring up the subject you change it." Harry to a short break and looked closely at Hermione. His face never looking more serious, he spoke again "Are you trying to say that you feel it was a mistake." Hermione's eyes quickly jolted up at Harry's.

"No." she said quickly "I don't think that, I just…" she stopped in mid-sentence trying to figure out what to say next.

"What?"

"I just don't know if this is right."

"What do you mean?" said Harry in shock.

"I mean that…maybe this too fast." Said Hermione uneasily. Harry had a confused look on his face.

"But I…I thought it's what you wanted." 

"It is, but now I'm so confused about us. And I don't know if it's right to be in such a relationship at this time."

"Oh I see. In other words you think that we're too young."

"People wouldn't understand."

"So what! All we did was have sex!" 

"Harry I.."

"Make up your mind Hermione!" he said loudly "One minute you want me the next you don't. Which is it?!" he was so frustrated now. 

"Why do you have to make this so hard for me!?" she said.

"Me? You're the one here who's in doubt. And you can't even tell me why! Why Hermione, why are you so unsure of this?"

"Because…" she stopped and looked at Harry. "Because you were my first."

Harry was in disbelief. He looked at Hermione not knowing what to say. Hermione now had a tear streaming down her face. Harry embraced her close to him.

"Oh my god why didn't you tell me? I'm so sorry I had no idea."

"I was just so caught in the moment. And I wanted to be with you so much I couldn't help it."

Harry was only beginning to realize what he had done. Hermione used to be a virgin and he took that from her. He was feeling so much guilt he couldn't breath.

"You should have told me." He said.

"I know, but it doesn't matter. Harry I don't regret anything that happened between us."

"You don't?"

"Not at all."

TO BE CONTINUED


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